Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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