I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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