dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
