just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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