Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
