I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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