i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I believe in your delicious
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
