see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
