i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
