No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
