It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
