Don't make out with my wife yet
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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