i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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