Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
