It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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