no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
