I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
