Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
