its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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