just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
pray to the hookup gods
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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