nut hugger
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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