I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So drunk its hurt
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
