I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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