I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
