I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
