uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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