Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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