i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize