Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
