ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
