either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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