you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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