Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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