dude i'm inner monologue high
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
