You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
