Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
