the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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