i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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