Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
