were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
