ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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