Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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