dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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