And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize