hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Someone came in the potted fern
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
