I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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