here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
