How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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