burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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