i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
