I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You need Xanax blowdarts
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
