her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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