Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
