(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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