You're completely useless in the revolution.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
